January 25

Love has many attributes.
Among the most important:
In my teens, I often assumed the role of
        Big Brother.
Many little sisters confided in me,
sought my advice, my opinions – from a
male perspective.
I had a very big, soft shoulder to cry on.
All my self-doubts, self-fears and loneliness
locked themselves within.
No shoulder for me to cry on.  Big Brothers were
        not suppose to cry.
Time never significantly altered my role.
It merely replaced my Big Brother hat
        with that of
Second Father.
    Still I listened to sad songs, tried to provide
    sound fatherly advice.
I was the fly upon the wall.  Always there,
but invisible.
I tried my best to deny my doubts, and the
hurt and pain were invisible to everyone –
except me.

And then there was you. You saw a different me.
One neither I nor anyone else had ever seen.
You removed my walls, unlocked the doors,
and gave me
your love, your trust, your sharing.

Yet you experienced far more pain
than I ever suffered.
I was always there for someone –
my shoulder weighted down by other’s tears,
but it gave me a role, a place where
I was accepted, while you
experienced only rejection.
The depth of your scars built a strong wall.
My shoulder helped you tear down your wall
and in the process of our sharing,
you offered me your heart
and both our scars are healing.
Now all that matters is that we are here
and we care,
and we share,
and we’ve both discovered happiness.

You gave me your love, you gave me your trust,
and of even more important, you gave me
something I never had before:
a shoulder to cry on.
All Rights Reserved Copyright 1999 and 2000 Robert E. Kogan
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