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January 10 Sometimes I feel insecure, and find it difficult to express my love for you. I dont come from a hugging, feeling family. When growing up, I mostly experienced love from a distance. I learned quickly to shake hands with my Father kissing between boys and men was wrong. I had an abundance of kisses stored within, just wanting to come out. That poor girl on my first date made the mistake of granting me permission to kiss her. Id be there still had she not sought the safety and shelter of her house I learned there is a special, reserved time to love love should only be expressed in private, intimate times. I lived with many self-imposed boundaries by which I believed all were ruled. Holding hands the ultimate sign of affection. Like the kisses I stored so many years ago, love also was locked within. You posses a magic key, and suddenly the floodgate opened wide love came pouring out love I didnt even know existed. Hidden love, forbidden love love that feeling never to be shared! Remember my fright? The intensity of my love amazed me; I feared to suffocate you. I tried to hold back, but you asked for all I could give, and I loved you so much more. But even now, there are times when I still hold back waiting for some sign some little hint from you asking that I give. And you do. And you always do. The secret place where I stored my love has moved. It resides now in your heart. It is protected. It is nourished. It comforts me. |
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